By
helen on February 26th, 2004
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I kinda wished I wrote this before I read other accounts (Matt, Tom, Rach, Ryan), but here are my thoughts anyway…
Carmen, Kirsty and I rushed in slightly late from dance rehearsal. I still had the rock worship song in my head that we were dancing to. Funnily about the same person I could see on the screen sweating blood. Bizarre finding the link between the two. The beginning got me ready for two hours of intense city…I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to handle it…I didn’t really but I’m glad I sat it out.
You think you know the reality of the story of the cross. But I felt like the details came alive. Like when Jesus healed the soldier who’s ear Peter had cut off in Gethsemane. What I remember of that story is a Sunday school drawing of Jesus putting a hand on a soldier’s ear in a cartoon form, completely sanitised and not a drop of blood in sight. But the reality of your ear actually being cut off, and Jesus instantly healing it..well…I’d never really considered it. There were lots of moments like that. A story I knew and knew well, but reality hit.
I’ve never felt so personal about a movie. I couldn’t distance myself from it at all. This man that I’ve given my life to, that I work for, live for daily, that I spend a lot of my life talking about, this was his story, his true story. I spent a lot of it wanting to cry but couldn’t actually go there. It was too horrific. Thought I might go home and debrief and cry. But nup, couldn’t go there.
I woke up this morning though and thanked God for the reality of his grace. Undeserving of it, but so need it.
As for the violence, I agree with Matt, it was not so much violent as gruesome. Just didn’t end. In any other movie I would have gone come on that’s a bit much and let it lose its believablitiy. The trouble was I couldn’t do that. Because every check in my head was saying yep, this really happened. I managed to watch pretty much all of it because I didn’t want to avoid it at all. I wanted to be confronted with the reality of it. My stomach didn’t cope very well, but I’m glad I saw it all.
I loved the language. I loved listening to it and recognising bits of it, making links with the English or other foreign words i know. I’m just a language junky really. It definately helped the believability. No more Jesus with American accents.
I thought the portrayal of Satan and hell and the resurection were all done really tastefully. They managed to portray the spiritual really well amongst the natural…something I’ve always struggled with exploring in college productions and other works I’ve done. Its a hard thing to do well without a cringe factor.
I would really love to know what a non believer makes of it as a film. For me the whole thing was loaded with meaning becuse of my faith, my knowledge of the story and my real relationship with the main character. What does it mean, if anything to someone who doesn’t connect with the story? What’s the point of this drawn out protrayal of this one man’s suffering? I guess the flashbacks, the miracles and at times his words give it more meaning. But I would really love to know how much to someone who doesn’t already know all the stories. Not that it has to, but it would be interesting to know.
I’m still trying to work out what i think of the portrayal of Mary. It kind of moved me and disturbed me. Might think some more and write another time. I think my view of it was coloured by a conversation Tom & I had had earlier in the day about Jesus’ relationship to his family. Food for thought…
I read Luke this morning and i read about Pilate. I instantly had the scenes from the movie in my head. Will my Bible reading now be illustrated by this movie? If so, I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. The actor isn’t Jesus so in some ways i don’t like it. But the visual images make the story more alive and real. Hmmm…
Well, the Jesus story had hit popular culture and its done well. I’m fascinated to see what comes of it…
That’s all for now.
By
helen on February 24th, 2004
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this evening I met with Tom and Sal to relook at TOOBSC. We came up with some new ideas. Afterwards I had that awesome feeling of energy when i start a new project and my mind floods with ideas. At the exact same time I got a tension headache at the thought of how much work I’m giving myself.
Here’s that tension thing again. Excitement and stress. Energy and tiredness. Faith and fear.
We also had a session on preaching. I got energised by the millions of questions running through my head about preaching and at the same time overwhelmed by the thought of actually having to sift through my issues, deal with them and try and find answers that might actually radically change what I do in my life and how I view church. Ouch.
By
helen on February 24th, 2004
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Sun night took Kaye to my God spot on Dee Why headland and we prayed. Nice place to pray. Definitely nicer than on the green carpet. Not that it matters.
Anyways, met a bunch of other church people down at the beach and sat and chatted for quite some time. I love the beach at night. I use to say it was my favourite place in the world. I think it still is, but there’d probably be other places now up there with it. I should go to the beach at night more. Its gotta be a much better way to wind down on a sun night than the local Maccas. We sat on a concrete slab and the few who remained (tom, Jo, Kaye, Rach, me) sat and had silly conversations while it rained on us. I commented that I don’t think I’d ever sat through rain without being paranoid about getting sick. It was quite liberating. I enjoyed it. Made me feel free. Sadly the last two days I’ve been fighting off a cold. But I’m still glad I did it. Some things in life are worth the price.
By
helen on February 24th, 2004
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Sat night was one of those nights where I had in my head over several days ideas about people it would be good to hang out with and I didn’t; quite get around to actually talking to those people until it was too late. Anyways, I went to Manly with Michelle and we saw Lost in Translation. Bizarre film. Didn’t really like the way it portrayed Japanese culture. I know it used stereotypes in order to create humour and it was funny, bit it didn’t sit right with me. I think I just hate it when America portrays another culture with a superior attitude. As for the other aspects of the film…I like the fact it didn’t give the audience what it wanted. I was trying to work out how to describe it. It didn’t have much of a story, but wasn’t really a statement about anything, more an observation or reflection about emotional needs. Struck that chord inside of you that knows the complexity of human relationships. Like I said, I like the fact that it didn’t jsut give you a Hollywood ending. Made it more real.
By
helen on February 24th, 2004
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Sat arvo we had a drama workshop. I joined in partly because I thought I should as the leader of the whole thing and partly because I thought it would be good for me. I quite enjoyed the listening to theory bit and the creaming up a character of your own and watching other people be creative, but when it came to me acting in front of the rest of the group well…I felt like an idiot. Trying to work out why. I use to be ok with the idea of me acting. I think going to college and being friends with pro actors has risen my standards if acting and I don’t meet them. I use to be able to jus have fun acting. Now I just think I’m bad at it. I also seem to have lost the ability to stop myself from laughing on stage. Maybe my days of acting are over. Dancer it is. Maybe Writer and Director occasionally. Oh and Youth Minister. Probably should try and remember that one.
By
helen on February 22nd, 2004
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fri night leaving the freemans after tea and cake parent leader debrief upstairs I drove Rachel home. Within that car trip I managed to put my car in drive when it needed to be in reverse (the freemans nearly lost their swing set). I found reverse and managed to do quite a few wheel spins in their dirt until I got enough acceleration to get out of there. I drove all the way to the first major intersection and discovered I still had my hand brake on. Part way down Mona Vale rd I remembered how I had thought as i was walking to the car that I mustn’t forget my smelly wet clothes that were left hanging on the boot. I pulled over and looked back and saw two blobs on the road behind us. Found a way to turn around several times, came cruising back down Mona vale rd and picked them up. I do worry about me sometimes. I’m not usually blonde. Just sometimes. And on the rare occasion that it happens it tends to involve my car in some way. Sorry Rach. Glad I gave you something to laugh about!!
Does the word blonde have an ‘e’ on the end in Emglish? I get confused with french.
By
helen on February 21st, 2004
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ice cream
grass
strawberry topping
whipped cream
faces
cheese and bacon balls
custard bombs
tin spaghetti
baked beans
flour
lambs tongue
a hose
a swimming pool
30 teenagers
leader rivalry
its up there with the pie fight…
can’t believe i felt and SMELT that gross twice in one week!
By
helen on February 21st, 2004
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I have my piano now at my house. It got delivered on firday morning from my parents. I missed it. I’ve decided playing music and singing is my therapy now that dance is work and not as much a hobby. also like hanging out with God at the piano. nothing quite like it.
By
helen on February 21st, 2004
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woke at 8am to RING NICOLA IN AMSTERDAM
taled for nearly 3 hours. ouch. first time I’ve talked to ther. Not looking forward to that phone bill. But it was worth it. I think.
droce to Dee why.
Went for walk along the water for a jesus chat. good stuff.
drove to my sisters and picked up boxes of my stuff that have been in her garage for the last 3 years. Discovered a box of ant infested books. yum.
picked Guin up from Roseville station.
Had girly night at my house with Guin, Nic, Kim & Claude.
Ate yum Thai food.
Did boy-bashing sufficient for recent events.
Watched Finding Nemo. (LOVED IT!) Very fun. I was scared too.
drove Guin home to Newtown.
By
helen on February 21st, 2004
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Wed night invited jo to spontaneosuly come on a Maccas visit with me. I INVITED JO to go to MACCAS. I’m worried about me…