The internet can be a helpful thing can’t it?
I came home tonight sad and frustrated. But managed to console and calm myslef by writing emails Hong Kong and QLD and by chatting to friends on MSN.
Good old internet.
The world is literally at your finger tips.
Oh dear it’s late. Hope I can sleep now. Work tomorrow.
Wow. What a weekend.
The last 2 days I’ve slept an awful lot and got up past midday both days. Haven’t done that in a long time. Mon morning I had that incredibly satsifying experience of every muscle in my body acheing so much I could barely move. The reason it was so satisfying was beacuse it was that unique yet familiar feeling I get after performing. I felt like I’d really pushed myself and had a decent dance. Haven’t done that in a while either.
Apart from exhaustion, the other reason I’ve spent more time in bed than usual is my inherent need to debrief and process everything in my head after a big event. Yesterday didn’t seem sufficient, so this morning I continued to replay the events of the weekend through and considered some on the ‘what next?’ I reckon I could spend forever lying in bed thinking I could. The never ending analyitcal internal world of Helen. It can be scary at times so count yourselves lucky you don’t have to take part in it!!
Fri night…by some miracle we pulled of a semi formal dinner tha was rather fun indeed. Amazing what you can create with just one trip to Wollies and take away Chinese.
Sat….rehearsals seem to run quite smoothly. Go team. Much less stressful than previous years. I guess we’r all just finding our place and learning to run like clockwork coz we’ve been here before.
Sat night….wow it actually happened. Love Is came together. About a hundred people. So exciting to see so many visitors in church. No idea how I felt about the show. I was in it. I think I did ok. The audience laughed sometimes, which is a good thing. Tom spoke well. He just gets better & better at it. Couldn’t quite relax coz we still had another night to go.
Sun…woke up in the morning a little concerned that the adrenaline that got me through the day before didn’t seem to be present. Dragged my feet to church. Went into shock when we discovered the church had been robbed and basically all our technical equipment had gone. Welcome back adrenaline. My brain shifted through various gears quite quickly….shock, problem solving, pastoral concern, tears, rise up and fight, peace. It was bizarre to see 2 men in blue uniforms arriving at the end of the service to inspect the crime scene. Quite surreal. Amazingly God, through people provided everything we needed to run the show again that night. Yay team. And I reckon it gave us a boost to give ourselves to it even more. The audience were great and came with us. Fun fun.
Wasn’t sure how to feel at the end of it all. I really wanted to see people respond, but had to be satisfied with not being able to. God can do what he wants. We just gotta be obedient right? Still, I’d like to know.
You humble me Lord.
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11.1
Well done team. I think we’ve been obedient, so I think we did good.
And so by many miracles, love is happened. Thanks God.
Today I miss Jon.
I always do but for some reason today I really do.
Grumpy Helen.
This is one of those times I’d really like to be able to stretch time. Only 2 days till showtime and time is running out rapidly. I guess time doesn’t actually change speed….but it does feel like it goes quickly with lots to do.
Things still to do…
help lead 300 hundred or so students in Scripture seminars with lacking numbers of leaders at a time of morning I’m not usually functional
pick up dance floor
eat lunch
write a backstage run sheet
recruit some welcomers and prayers
remember the dances I’ve choreographed and practise them so I don’t look like an idiot on stage
work out some chorey with video stuff
check new video bits
plan what to do with actors in a new bit
sort out stage situation for Sun arvo
find black clothes
find all my bits of comstumes strawn between my room, my car and my office
wash and straighten my hair (ok, maybe optional!)
get together my make up & hair stuff
pray
find some bible bits to encourage the team
read Tom’s talk
print response sheets
check follow up stuff
stretch
buy food & decorations for and run a semi formal dinner for youth
go to a 21st/farewell
fix & rehearse final bits
plot stuff on stage
problem solve
have a tech rehearsal
eat
drink
breathe
pray
remember what I’m doing
and then i might be ready to do a show…
Well, I feel better already having got those things from my head into written form. Don’t know if I really needed to share them with the world, it was however rather therapeutic 
Well today was the day things started to go wrong. In a strange way it feels kinda comforting. To be honest, up till today it didn’t really feel like production week yet. Everything felt way too easy and smooth. Now I have have a healthy (or unhealthy…not quite sure) amount of adrenaline running through my body and hit me with a problem and I’ll search all the alternatives till it’s solved. Just hope I don’t crash any time before Monday.
I also started to feel nervous today. I think people might actually be coming.
When I got home tonight a ‘fairy’ had left a bowl of fruit and a forero rocher chocolate in my room. How nice is that?
I also won the flashing pendant award at the staff meeting today when I was least expecting it. It’s always nice getting something when you least expect it. Even if it is a fluro flashing plastic crucifix on a pink string. I felt special.
The satisfying thing about sending lots of emails is when you get lots of replies. Yesterday I did an email-a-thon and sent lots of things I should have sent weeks ago. Felt satisfying. I don’t think I’ve had such a productive Monday in a long time. I even went to a Sydney Dance Co. contemporary class. On a Monday morning! And I didn’t feel quite as intimidated as I normally do surrounded by pro dancers. What’s going on. I also enjoyed praying for Love Is. I’m glad God does a much better job than us.
Today I had chats with jon & then went and had fun vegie burgers with jo in Manly. They’re both way cool. (thanks jo for the phrase ‘way cool’, it’s very fun)
My life is intense. I think coz I’m intense. So I guess that’s just the way it is. I’m glad that there’s just as much good intense as there is bad intense, if not more
The other thing about jo is that she’s not afraid to make up words and use them in conversations with all confidence. It’s very liberating.
I now have a headache, so maybe I’ll try and sleep.
Can’t believe it’s only 4 days till Love Is. Wow.
Please may I have my brain back.
That’s twice in one week I managed to get terribly lost in a carpark trying to find my car. The first less traumatic than the second, but nevertheless traumatic.
Sometimes I just feel really stupid. It’s probably good for me.
The first instance was last Sat in Hornsby Westfield following our production meeting. Oh so confusing. I went round and round in circles for quite some time till I found my car again. Oh dear.
The second was at the airport on Thurs after seeing Jon off. Now this was disastrous. I even remember saying to Jon on our way out of the carpark that I wasn’t sure if I’d remember my way back. Well in my exhausted, feet hurting, emotional state, I managed to tour the airport carpark on foot for an hour and 45 mins before my car was located. I managed to have 3 different security guards help me with this task, all of whom managed to look exactly where my car was and not see it. At first I thought I was going insane and then I was convinced it was stolen. Even started to dream about what kind of car I would get if it was. But then a security guard with fresh eyes spotted it, tucked away behind a long car and a pillar, not visible unless you walk up close.
Never again I tell you! Never again!! I will be the most conscientious note taker of where my car is parked that you have ever come across!! Maybe.
In Jan on the good old road trip, one morning sitting out the back of our little YHA in the Adelaide Hills, I wrote down a couple of pages of what I thought God was saying to me at the time that seemed to kinda come form no where. I just happened to stumble across these pages this morning. Wow. It’s amazing how much God has done in me since Jan. And things he said to me then have actually happened. I love God. He’s so good to us.
I think I really like the idea of tomorrow.
